Your Happiness Factor:celebrating happiness, prosperity, hearth and home, good health.

Tuesday, 10 January 2012

Body language and a more confident approach to life!

Body language.Image via Wikipedia

Body language has a major part to play in how we communicate with others.

People form a very quick first impression of us based on appearance and body language - the way we walk, smile, sit and stand.

When we communicate,  this body language plays a major role – greater than the words we use or the tone of voice that we adopt.

Once we understand the role that body language plays we can learn to shape the way that others see us. 
Body language can help us project a confident image. 

Being aware of our body language and knowing that we are projecting a confident image help us to feel more confident!  This supports us in dealing with others as our confidence grows.

An understanding of body language allows us to communicate more effectively.  This is because with the right body language we can reinforce the message we wish to convey.   But also it helps us to understand much better the real meaning and emotions of people - those with whom we are communicating. 

An understanding of confident body language and the ability to use our own body language confidently allows us to understand and deal more effectively with those about us.  

Learning to smile and convey warmth helps people to like us.  We can lean to use gestures to convey empathy and to encourage mutual understanding. 

Knowing that we can project a confident image that encourages others to like us and knowing how we come across contributes to our self confidence.  It supports our ability to handle challenging situations and life in general. 

But it is important to recognize that body language can be culturally specific.  What is acceptable in one culture may not be so in others.  For example, offering a warm handshake is positive in many countries but may not be so in others.  We need to be aware that the meaning of gestures and the acceptability of particular behaviour can vary between cultures. 

If you would like to learn more about using body language effectively, see Part 1 of the Wisewolf Learn to Be Confident Program at this link

Wendy Mason works as a Coach, Consultant and Blogger. She works with all kinds of people going through many different kinds of personal and career change, particularly those wanting to increase their confidence.You can contact Wendy at  or ring ++44 (0)2084610114

Friday, 6 January 2012

Young couple with baby.Image via WikipediaConfidence is learned! 

From the day we are born our family, friends and the environment contribute to the development of our confidence.  But they can also contribute to our lack of confidence. 

Day by day throughout our lives, we receive a barrage of messages.  This can encourage or erode our ability to develop confidence.

Most parents want only the very best for their children. But if they, themselves, do not have the right skills how could they know how to encourage confidence in their child.

If our parents lack confidence, we may become shy and lacking in confidence.  If parents are cold and distant we may grow up lacking confidence.  Or perhaps they found it difficult to praise or they were constantly criticizing that in turn can lead us to have a poor self image.

With brothers and sisters, other family members and teachers, if we feel or are treated as different, or we find it difficult to fit in, lack of confidence may result.

Often those who contribute to our lack of confidence have little or no understanding of the effect they have upon us.  They may mean us well.  But their unthinking remarks can have a very long lasting effect.   

Bullying and feeling ‘other’ and outside the group as a result of poverty, disability, ethnicity, and religion, lack of education or physical appearance can contribute to a lack of confidence.

What started in childhood can be further reinforced by life events, for example, long term illness or acquired disability, long term unemployment, family difficulties or domestic violence. For someone who has little support and/or has not learned coping skills, events of this kind can lead to or further destroy confidence.

Luckily all is not lost. 

Working with a coach or therapist can help.  With time and support we can find that confidence we lack.  But it can help to understand where that lack of confidence came from in the first place.