Your Happiness Factor:celebrating happiness, prosperity, hearth and home, good health.

Sunday, 28 October 2018

Sunday Reflection - Glass Half Full

There are two ways of looking at most things in life. When you face a new challenge, you can think;

"Oh no, I'm not going to be able to this. It is something I've never done before. It means I have to learn new skills. And I'm probably going to fail."

Or you can think;

"Yes, this is a challenge. But I will get the chance to learn more skills. And I'm going to give it my all and do my best to make it a success.

You will find lots of advice around about the power of positive thinking and expecting success. There is a lot of research that shows how having a positive approach to life improves health and happiness. Try looking at the Greater Good Science Centre  website for more information. 

But, with so many people jumping on a positive thinking bandwagon, it easy sometimes to lose sight of what it is really about. At its simplest and most powerful, it is about seeing half a glass of water as half full and not half empty.

How you view the glass varies between people and circumstances. Some people see pessimism as protecting them from disappointment. But it cuts them off from opportunity. Often they have learned pessimism from their parents and they think they can't change. Others may be mildly depressed or lacking in confidence. With help from a coach or counsellor they can change. With support, both groups can learn to challenge their thinking.

It is important though to be realistic about the power of positive thinking. Learning to think positively will help increase your resilience and mental health. But, there are some events in life that are beyond the power of positive thinking to heal. I'm thinking here mainly about bereavement. Trying to persuade someone to think about the glass being half full in those circumstances is usually just crass. Though having the strengthened mindset that comes from positive thinking, does help most of us cope better even with life's nastier moments.

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Wednesday, 24 October 2018

Happiness is When the Cat Purrs

Someone once told me a story. A woman had been living a miserable life. Her husband was a bully who tried to control her completely. Over the years her creative spirit slowly eroded away. She couldn't see how she would ever be happy. How could she find the confidence to leave and make another life? 

One of the few joys in her life, was her cat. 

The family lived in small flat in a large city. Husband insisted they kept the cat inside. The cat seems healthy enough but the woman noticed she never purred. Circumstances changed and they moved to a new flat. It was much larger, light and airy. There were two balconies. The woman loved the new place and so, apparently, did the cat. One day the woman heard a new sound - her silent cat had begun to purr. And the purring became a habit. With more freedom, light and fresh air, the cat was much happier.

It took the woman a little longer to find her happiness. But one day she met someone who inspired and supported her. That was enough to help her start a new life. And she too found freedom, light and fresh air. 

The woman thinks often of  that little black and white cat with a pink nose. That small cat taught her a very large lesson about happiness. And just in case you too find the sound of purring rather pleasant and relaxing, here's a little recording - thanks to YouTube



Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

Saturday, 20 October 2018

Saturday Reflection - Hard Times and Your Gentle Inner Voice

No one lives a life without unhappiness. We all suffer loss and other forms of change we would not have chosen. Often the change leads to better things. And, sometimes, even with the most positive of attitudes, a loss just hurts. We mourn and then get on with life in changed circumstances,as best we can. But, there is a skill you can learn when things are going well that will help when they are going badly. We can learn to listen to the wise and loving inner voice. For some, this is the voice of God. For others it is the higher self - part of you. Somewhere, beneath the chaos of our minds, it speaks.

If we can learn to still the chaos, we can learn to hear the voice. You can learn at any time. But, the easiest time is when things are going well. Your inner friend and counsellor will always be there. 

Time to pause and listen. Sit quietly in a gentle place if you can. Take a few quiet breaths. Feel yourself there in the present, just sitting quiet and still. Oh, there is a joy in stillness. Don't try to resist your thoughts but don't pay much attention to them. If they persist, let them play like an old radio at the back of your mind. And then, in the quiet, gentle and wise thoughts will come -  your inner voice. Let that kind, loving and very wise part of yourself speak to you.


Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Saturday, 13 October 2018

Saturday Reflection - Contemplating Not Ruminating

So here I am on Saturday morning, sitting quietly at my desk and contemplating. Contemplating, not ruminating! The difference between those two words, and the process they describe, is huge.

Contemplating means to consider something thoroughly. You take time to think fully or deeply. It helps to do it in your quiet place and to settle your mind before you start.

Ruminating means dwelling on something without reaching any real conclusions. You brood on it, turning it over and over in your mind, You agonize and worry and the thoughts run on and on. You just can't let go. But it doesn't actually get you any nearer to a solution. The thoughts run like a ticker tape through your head.

Ruminating is often a sign of stress.

Stress is a very common experience. Often, I work with clients who feel stressed. Learning how to bring themselves wholly into the present helps them a great deal. In this post I explain what I teach them.

Feeling stressed? Learn to be present!


Coaching can help when you feel stressed. If you are thinking about coaching, I would love to talk to you. You can book a free discussion using the app in the side column

In the meantime I wish you a very happy weekend

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Thursday, 11 October 2018

Advice for new leaders

There's a new post on my Career and Life Coaching Blog with advice for new leaders.

new leadersNew leaders - leadership is about creating positive change in a group or organization to achieve some long-term objective. It involves having a vision, setting goals and knowing how to move  the organization and its people towards them. The key skill for new leaders is learn how to best use your resources. And that includes  your people and using their talents to get you to where you need to be.

You can find the rest of the post at this link

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link