A new version of an older post. Find a quiet place to sit. This can be outside or in. Take some gentle breaths to calm your mind. Don't look for meaning; just sit, just accept.
Remember that from a withered tree, a flower blooms.
Simple living is consolation.
Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.
The tighter you squeeze, the less you have.
No snowflake ever falls in the wrong place.
Only when you can be extremely pliable and soft can you be extremely hard and strong.
Knock on the sky and listen to the sound.
When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float.
Sit, walk, or run, but don't wobble. Live your life.
Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself.
The Heart Sutra - A musical rendition by Imee Ooi with words in Sanskrit
Wendy Mason is a life and career coach. She helps people reach their goals and aspirations, without sacrificing their home and personal life. Before working as a coach, Wendy had a long career in both the public and private sectors in general management and consultancy as well as spells in HR. She now divides her time between coaching and writing. You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com and find out more at http://wisewolfcoaching.com
The hoop is a important symbol to many Native American tribes and for some the hoop dance is a healing dance. The hoop can be used to represent many things but essentially the hoop symbolizes the never-ending circle of life. It is a dance that can amaze and delight you as in Brian Hammill's performance below.
Dancers incorporate between one and 30 or more hoops in the dance, which are used to create both static and dynamic shapes, or formations, representing various animals, symbols, and storytelling elements. The solo dancers use their numerous hoops to represent eagles, butterflies, snakes, etc. Hands are used far more than hips; hoops do not swing around bodies but are moved carefully from formation to formation.
Native American hoop dancers live throughout North America. A few even live elsewhere.
Hoop dancers vary in the way they see their hoops and their dances. Some might think of hoops as sacred. Others might see them simply as dancing accessories. Dancers (or their families) make each hoop by hand.
Native American hoop dancing is many things:
* it is a form of storytelling,
* it is cultural,
* it is a connection to the past.
The Legend
According to writer Basil H. Johnston in Anishinaabe culture, a Manitou named Pukawiss, brother of Nanabozho, and born to live amongst the people, created the hoop dance. Unlike the other boys, Pukawiss did not show an interest in running, swimming or hunting. He only wanted to watch the animals. His fascination with them drove his father's interest away from him towards his brother Maudjee-kawiss therefore leading everyone to call Pukawiss: the disowned or unwanted.
Pukawiss learned so much about life in the movements of eagles, bears, snakes that taking their life would have been wrong. The animals had much to teach the humans about values and relationship like loyalty, kindness and friendship. Pukawiss taught his village about the animals by spinning like an eagle in flight or hopping through grass like rabbits or bouncing like a baby deer. He became a dancer. So many villages wanted him to teach them about the ways of the animals that he had to give up his home and became a permanent visitor. Many women wanted him to settle with them in their village but he preferred to keep moving.
Like his father, his brother Maudjee-kawiss did not understand Pukawiss's artistic ways and sought to scold him. Pukawiss often provoked his audience by teasing them. As an older brother, he teased his other brothers perhaps once too often. Insulted by a Pukawiss prank involving the theft of his prize pigeons, Nanabozho angrily razed the mountain under which Pukawiss had been hiding camouflaged as a snake. Pukawiss wasn't dead but now he had a new job: to taunt those who are too proud. The Anishinaabe believe that we see him each time the wind teases the leaves and soil to dance.
Brian Hammill
Brian Hammill, the dancer here, was born of the Ho-chunk Nation from southern Wisconsin and is a proud veteran of the United States Army. He is an accomplished hoop dancer, constantly ranked among the top 10 in the world. His performance includes many intricate manoeuvres creating various symbols significant in his life. He was born and raised in Benton, Wisconsin and now resides in Phoenix, AZ. He has been Hoop Dance World Champion many times. In this video he gives his own introduction to the hoop dance.
Enjoy what the hoop dance has to offer you. My wish is that you find in it your own healing.
Do you sometimes feel on the brink of losing your temper? You hold it in and bite your tongue, but it doesn’t make you feel good. The other person wonders what just happened and you certainly don’t perform at your best for a while afterwards. It happens to everyone. We all encounter experiences that test our patience.
There are times when you are more likely to lose your temper.
You are more likely to feel wound-up when you have too much to do and too little energy with which to do it. Add to a busy agenda, already feeling tired when you woke up in the morning and you are all set for anger.
Often, really, we are annoyed with someone else or about something other than the immediate “provocation.” Unfortunately, the person around us at the time is the most accessible target for displaced anger.
Sometimes, we have unrealistic expectations of ourselves, the team or our family and friends. What we plan doesn’t take into account the unpredictability of life in general and we blame others for their inability to fulfill our unrealistic goals.
Often frustration is of our own making because we failed to be honest with ourselves or to put in the extra effort it took to plan properly.
Once you begin to feel frustrated, it is all too easy to slide into thinking it must be someone else’s fault; “they’re out to get me”. Once you start to think this way, it is all too easy to find things that seem to confirm our distorted perspective.
Losing your temper doesn’t make you feel better. Talk about anger being cathartic is misguided and sometimes down-right dangerous. Anger feeds anger. And afterwards you usually feel guilty and embarrassed as well as concerned for those you may have hurt. The waste is of energy that would be better spent solving the problem.
So what can you do?
Here are some suggestions for helping you to control your temper.
Get the rest you need. It is often tempting when you feel under pressure, to work very long hours or to take work home. Done for a long period this can have a hugely negative effect on both your state of mind and your performance. Make sure you get adequate rest and relaxation if you want to continue to perform at your best and avoid anger
Find, and face, the real cause of your anger. Ask yourself what is really going on. If you can’t deal with the issue immediately, start to plan and take steps to reduce the tension. Be honest with yourself and seek outside help or advice if you need it.
Be realistic in your plans and expectations of yourself and other people. Face reality and make contingency plans in case things go wrong. Allow enough time and resources to do the job properly. If you do decide to cut corners, be honest about the risks you are taking.
Plan for things carefully and always think what could be the worst case scenario. Time spent planning saves time spent putting things right.
Accept that those around you are no more perfect than you are. They will sometimes make mistakes. That doesn’t mean they are bad people or that they don’t want to do their best to help you. Accept them for what they are and do your best to help them do better next time.
Learn to take time out. When you feel yourself beginning to get wound-up, learn to have the grace to walk away and calm down. Take a few minutes out, preferably in the fresh air. Go for a short walk or sit quietly and slow your breathing. You could use the calming technique I described here last week. You can find it at this link. When you feel calmer make plans for handling the situation before you return to it.
If you would like to discuss how to handle your anger better, get in touch.
I have a new eBook available on Amazon. It is brief but wise. You really will learn how to make a great first and lasting impression at work. Here is how to help your boss help you. Don't be made unhappy, suffer stress and lose confidence because you cannot get on with the person in charge. Poor relationships at work can damage life at home as well as your career. There may be long-term effects on health and on your motivation. This little eBook by an experienced manager and coach can really help.
What it covers; • What it means to get on with the boss • Why it matters • How to know whether you get on with your boss • Getting it right • What your boss really wants • How requirements can change over time • Making a good first impression • Keeping respect once you are established in the role • What to do when things go wrong • Bosses with problems • Demon bosses • Putting things right • Moving on when it is time to go • Bullying
Wendy Smith is a life coach and writer at Wisewolf Coaching. She is a qualified coach and a member of the Association for Coaching as well as being a member of the Institute of Consulting and a graduate of the Common Purpose leadership programme. Wendy holds an advanced diploma in life coaching and a graduate certificate in confidence coaching. You can contact Wendy at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com
Are you one of those rare (and very lucky ) people who enjoys networking? Or do you arrive at a networking event, look around at the sea of faces, then find yourself overwhelmed by a stream of doubts and uncertainties? Here are some tips to help
Negative self talk can tell you that you’re a fraud and everyone else in the room is just great. There they are, experienced business professionals, at home in this environment. While you feel like you are just pretending and you don’t really know what you are doing!
On top of that you think you are going to forget what to say. You won’t remember anyone else’s name and there is a very good chance you will forget your own!
The “sensible” part of you tells you not to be so silly. But there you are with all these negative thoughts and anxieties in your head.
Well it doesn't have to be like that. These tips will help!
Relax and take a deep breath, then tell your brain it has more important things to think about! No, you are not going to have a heart attack as you take the floor. You’ve got this under control!
Relax, take a deep breath, and smile! Taking in Oxygen deeply can steady nerves and lower your heart rate! Smiling releases endorphin and makes you feel more comfortable.
Practice positive self-talk. We all have some negative thoughts. Be conscious of them and then cut them off. Recognize them for what they are. Then replace them. As you approach the event fill your head with the repeated thought that you are confident and successful; People like you. Tell yourself firmly that you are going to do well and that people will be impressed. Say it very loudly and firmly in your own head. You can say out it loud in private at home before you go as well – repeat, repeat, repeat!
Have a great elevator speech and practice it ahead of time. This is a short paragraph or two that describes who you are and what your business does. Give it punch - make it interesting, informative, and memorable. Practice delivering it at home with confidence and don’t rush.
Be memorable. What is it about you and/or your job/business that makes you unique? Work it out then be quite clear about it. Don’t be afraid to tell people – make it part of your branding
Have good contact material! Make sure you always carry business cards with you with up-to-date contact information. It is worth investing in a good business card that you feel proud of. They will help you to feel very comfortable handing them out at events.
Be yourself and show an interest in others. Expect people to like you – tell yourself they will. People like people who show an interest in them, and that is what you are going to do. Remember you are bringing them a gift - your talents and experience and there can be no one else just like you! Listen more then you speak. You'll be surprised how much people appreciate a good listener.
Now you are ready to get started. Off you go and enjoy your networking. If you feel networking is particularly difficult for you, then please get in touch. I'm life coach who specializes in helping people to feel more confident.
Wendy Smith (formerly Wendy Mason) is a life coach and writer committed to helping people be happy and fulfilled at home and at work. You can contact her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com
