Your Happiness Factor

   Some people welcome new experiences and new people.  They look forward to any opportunity to socialize. They're often the first to introduce themselves and the first to jump into a new conversation. For others, well, it takes us a little longer to warm up to something new!    Shy S ness is an emotion that affects how you feel and behave around others. You might feel uncomfortable, self-conscious, nervous, bashful, timid, or insecure.  Some people blush or feel speechless, shaky, or breathless.     People are more likely to feel shy when they're not sure how to act, what will happen, how others will react, or when for some reason all eyes are on them. People are less likely to feel shy in situations where they know what to expect, feel sure of what to do or say, or are among familiar people. . About 20% of people have a genetic tendency to be naturally shy. But not everyone with a genetic tendency to be shy develops a shy temperament. Life experiences also play a

   We all have negative thoughts sometimes.   These dark thoughts (known as automatic negative thoughts) just come into our heads and, most of the time, we can just throw them off. At other times they just overwhelm us.  This is so when we are depressed. But sadly these negative thoughts can actually make us depressed.  When we get into the habit of constantly chastising ourselves and telling ourselves we are no good and we are worthless, the feelings we have in response can send us spiralling down.   These thoughts seem to feed upon each other, so deeper and deeper we go!   Thoughts like these can send us spiralling down into depression. This concept is the guiding principle behind cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT), a type of psychotherapy which was developed by Aaron T. Beck in the 1960s If we think something often enough, we begin to believe it's true!  Then our feelings start to match what we think about ourselves. How do we raise ourselves back up a

   Like many others I was brought up with dire warnings against the sin of hubris . Hubris means extreme pride to the point of arrogance True hubris usually indicates a loss of contact with reality and a substantial overestimation of your own abilities. I wrote here last week about the value of confidence in your own ability.  Hmm  - what is too much confidence and what risk does it carry? In fact,  research suggests that there can be benefits for an individual in overestimating their abilities. Research has found that a two-player team consisting of one overconfident and one more rational person outperforms a team consisting of two rational people. This is because overconfidence enhances effort levels – over confident people try harder. It seems that over-confidence probably accounts for the ultimate success of some serial entrepreneurs. There is  evidence that  the earlier failed ventures provide valuable resources for entrepreneurs’ future use.   Being highly co

Working with a coach is a simple but very effective form of self development – either professional or personal. The client and coach work together to promote a change and to help the client become who they want to be and to overcome obstacles to their success. Coaches work with individuals in their personal life and with executives, managers and others in their professional and business life.  I work with people in the round so I don’t draw a big black line round the personal to distinguish it from the professional, the two often overlap! But I do work with change and transition.  If you are not going through a change or want to make a change, then perhaps I'm not the right person to work with you. There are lots of other good coaches around. Many of us have plans about what we want to do, who we want to be and what we want to become.  A coach works with you to find out what is important and how to create the conditions that foster it. Coaching builds skills; both p

“It is not your aptitude, but your attitude, that determines your altitude.” ~ Zig Ziglar Attitude is an issue in all job search. According to a survey of 1,000 employers by recruitment group REED, 96 per cent of bosses would take on someone who displayed the perfect mindset but lacked the complete set of skills, rather than a person with the right academic qualifications but wrong attitude. The same criteria applied to firing procedure. Two-thirds of employers surveyed said that, if push came to shove, they would keep those employees with the right attitude rather than those with a more complete skill-set. So, in your job search, it’s about combining your  transferable skills  with the right mindset.  Then demonstrating that mindset in your job search and through the recruitment process. James Reed, Chairman of REED and Paul G. Stoltz, a leading expert on measuring and strengthening human resilience, have produced a book based on the survey , “ Put Your Mindset to W

div style="line-height: 16.8pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0cm;">   People under stress or suffering from phobias sometimes experience moments of sudden and intense anxiety. This can leave you shaking, feeling confused or disorientated, with rapid heartbeats, a dry mouth, sweating, dizziness and, sometimes, chest pain. Chest pains should always be checked out with your doctor immediately, just to make sure it is nothing more serious. The symptoms usually peak within 10 minutes. But they can last anything between five minutes and half an hour. If you know something triggers a panic attack, it is best to avoid it and seek help from a physician or counsellor.   But Professor Paul Salkovskis, a psychologist at  King’s College, London , says it's important not to let your fear of panic attacks control you. “Panic attacks always pass and the symptoms are not a sign of anything harmful happening,” he says. “It’s important not to restrict y

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