Skip to main content

When friendships end!

When friendships end!

If we are lucky in life we get to meet many people and make some good friends. We can make friends throughout life. And some we carry with us through our life.  Lots of people are still friends with people they met as children.

But sometimes friendships come to an end. 

This may happen quite naturally and by some kind of unspoken agreement. You just seem to realise you have nothing in common any more – life has moved on and what was a friendship becomes an acquaintanceship with some happy memories and the annual Christmas card.

At other times the break up is rather more traumatic with angry words, accusations and on-going bad feelings. It has some elements in common with a broken love affair but it can be lot more messy. With a broken love affair someone usually makes it quite clear that this is the end. That may be painful but at least you can mourn the loss and then get on with the rest of your life. 

It is not wise to end a friendship in anger. Much better to withdraw gently and with grace, letting the other person keep their pride intact and with both of you being grateful for what you have shared.

If you feel you no longer wish to be friends with someone, be honest with yourself about why. Reflect on why you were friends in the first place and what has changed. 

Is there some healing you need to do or some words you need to say? Should you give the other person a chance to put something right?

If not, and you still wish to move on, then take a step back. Don’t agree to meet up with them just because you feel guilty. Take time responding to messages and when you do respond  be brief. Don't seek them out or expect the friend you want to lose to listen to your problems. 

It won’t take long for most people to get the message that your chilliness is sending. But you do need to be prepared to deal with questions and to explain that you no longer feel you have much in common, although you are grateful for what you have shared in the past.

But be very, very careful .The older you get, the more you value friendship, so be prepared to regret those you lost on the way!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Recipe - Catalan Fish Stew - Rick Stein

Friday Recipe -  Catalan Fish Stew - Rick Stein This is an everyday Catalan fish soup that is more like a stew and has several variants. Like so many Catalan dishes, it starts with a sofregit of fried garlic and tomato. A hearty Catalan fish soup; a meal in bowl. Catalan fish stew Ingredients 6 tbsp olive oil 1 large Spanish onion, chopped 2 fennel bulbs, chopped 150g/5oz chorizo, diced 1 red chilli, finely chopped 1 tsp fennel seeds, ground 2 cloves new season garlic, crushed ½tsp sweet paprika powder 1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves 1 tsp saffron strands (optional) 3 fresh bay leaves 1 tin plum tomatoes 100ml/3½ fl oz fish stock or water 150ml/5 fl oz white wine 500g/1 lb 2oz mussels, cleaned 650g/1 lb 7 oz firm white fish (bream, pollock, cod, monkfish), filleted, dredged in flour and fried in olive oil 100g/3½ oz toasted almonds, ground To serve 1 lemon, cut into wedges steamed potatoes and spring greens Preparation method

A Lakota Peyote Healing Song by Robbie Robertson

A Lakota Peyote Healing Song by Robbie Robertson YouTube is full of music that claims to be Native American from North America and usually it isn't. It may be quite beautiful music but it is not what it claims to be. And in my view it does not have the same power.  This is authentic, beautiful and powerful Singer, song writer and guitarist Robbie Robertson was born Jaime Robert Klegerman in 1943, in Toronto, Ontario. He was born to a Jewish father and a Mohawk mother and took his stepfather's last name after his mother remarried. He had his earliest exposure to music at Six Nations of the Grand River First Nation , Ontario where he spent summers with his mother's family. He is best known for his membership in The Band. Here is a translation of the words

Something Sacred To Start Your Day - Navajo Early Morning Blessing

Something Sacred To Start Your Day - Navajo Early Morning Blessing "Hooghan" from the album Sacred Mountains by Louie Gonnie courtesy of  Canyon Records  Graphics by Rezboyz Designz Spoken Intro Translation The mountains were put there - in holy way, they told us that that will be our spiritual home.  In the middle of the home will be a fire burning, there will be a door, there will be a fire poker (Sacred to Dine'),  You're thoughts will be good,  You will have plans to make,  Life will be blessed,  There the hope will stay. Singing Translation   The home is there, prayer in the home, pray in the home, in the beauty way with the scared pollen pathway, the home is there, the home is there!