Your Happiness Factor:celebrating happiness, prosperity, hearth and home, good health.

Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Getting to know people and making assumptions!

Getting to know people and making assumptions

Most of us encounter lots of other people all the time in our everyday life.  We pass them in the street. We sit in the same cinema, or  work in the same building. And some among them, we actually start to acknowledge and get to know. We begin to recognise their faces, the shapes of their bodies and how they move. We start to make assumptions about them, usually based on our very first encounter with them.

In fact most of us make up our minds in the first few seconds of the encounter. Based on the clothes they are wearing on that particular day and the expression of their face, we decide. Is this someone I am likely to trust and want to know better? And we act on what we think are the answers to those questions, based on our assumptions.
What we are doing, of course, is taking a few stray facts and fitting them into our own patterns of belief. We base those beliefs;

  • on what we were told by our parents and others when we are young, 
  • on what we have read or been taught formally 
  • on what we have experienced (increasingly on tv, in the media or on-line).
Interesting this isn't it? This is what we do. So, what do you think other people do when they encounter us?

Well of course, they to make assumptions too. They set us up against their personal frame of reference!

Now, you and I both know that the frame of reference we use can be quite risky.

Most of us have picked all kind of prejudices and bits of wrong information along the way. For example, women of my mother's generation had the most awful suspicions of other women in red hats. I won't go into the detail but it wasn't very nice.

Most of the time we apply our frame of reference without conscious thought or question.

You can change. You can learn to hold back on making those kind of immediate judgements, if you wish. And I believe that is a very wise thing to do. Otherwise what interesting opportunities you may miss in life. What good people you may exclude.
It is wise as well, though, to keep in mind that people are making those kind of assumptions about us.. And we need to do our best to make sure that that first, abiding, impression is one we actually choose to make.

Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching
career coach, life coach
skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. 

You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

or book your free taster coaching session with Wendy here

Tuesday, 12 July 2016

Is your tiredness due to dehydration?

Is your tiredness due to dehydration?

A recent survey found that one in five people suffering from fatigue were actually dehydrated. Usually this was because they were not drinking enough.

When you don't get enough fluids, the amount of blood in your blood vessels drops and your heart has to pump extra hard to pump blood round your body.  Remember we are made up of 70% water and all parts of your body, including essential organs like your brain, depend upon it. So drinking plenty of fluid is important.

But keep in mind that coffee and alcohol are diuretics and they actually dehydrate the body, So you need to balance them by drinking lots of good, fresh, water.

When you are dehydrated, you may feel weak and your urine is likely to be dark instead of pale yellow. 

Eating five portions of fruit and vegetables each day will help because they contain water. You should also drink 2 litres of water
every day - spread it through the day by drinking 200ml every 10 hours, if you can.

If you are worried about your tiredness, or this doesn't help, please consult your physician or health professional.

Wendy Smtith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Book your free taster coaching session with Wendy here

Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Wash away that negativity!

Wash away that negativity!


Many religions incorporate ritual washing in water as an act of purification. Some use water specially prepared for the purpose but at the end of the day it is water that is being used.

Water is so important to human survival that in many parts of the world springs and wells are places of special significance and often regarded as holy. In the Japanese religion of Shinto waterfalls are held sacred and standing under them is believed to purify.

We know that water cleanses as well as sustaining us. So why not use water in a new way in your
own life. When you feel negative or angry, use your own water ritual to change how you feel. Find somewhere to wash your hands in cool, clean, running, water. As you do so, feel the freshness flowing to you and the negativity flowing away.

If you can be out in the open air and do this in stream that is wonderful. If you can’t even get to a tap, then how about using a bottle of water poured slowly over your hands with a clear intention to wash away the negativity.

This could bring a whole new meaning to the morning shower and its ability to help you make a good start to the day.

Just the sight and sound of water can be relaxing – try the video below, courtesy of YouTube


Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Book your free taster coaching session with Wendy here

Saturday, 2 July 2016

Music for Saturday -Satie with Mark Roberts' Paintings

Something rather lovely below to help you relax - Satie Gymnopedie 1,2,3 Gnossienne 1,2,3,4 (you'll recognise the music) with Mark Roberts' paintings https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR2DbU5Uq-4



Éric Alfred Leslie Satie (17 May 1866 – 1 July 1925), who signed his name Erik Satie after 1884, was a French composer and pianist. Satie was a colourful figure in the early 20th century Parisian avant-garde. His work was a precursor to later artistic movements such as minimalism, Surrealism, repetitive music, and the Theatre of the Absurd.

An eccentric, Satie was introduced as a "gymnopedist" in 1887, shortly before writing his most famous compositions, the Gymnopédies. Later, he also referred to himself as a "phonometrician" (meaning "someone who measures sounds"), preferring this designation to that of "musician", after having been called "a clumsy but subtle technician" in a book on contemporary French composers published in 1911.

Presently, Mark Roberts teaches at the Academy of Art University in San Francisco and at Las Positas College in Livermore. He also teaches privately to a loyal group of local painters and holds workshops, some of which have taken him to locations such as Costa Rica. Mark Roberts is an artist member of the California Art Club, Oil Painters of America and Arts Benicia. He exhibited at the California Art Club's 89th, 91st, 92nd, 94th, 95th, 96th, 98th and 100th Annual Gold Medal Exhibitions. Robert's paintings can be found in private and public collections nationwide in the US. Roberts' portraits are naturalistic, yet they possess a dream like quality. They are conceived as color symphonies or arrangements much as Whistler had done.



You can find out more about Mark here http://www.markrobertsfineart.com/bio.html and Satie, here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Satie

Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Your Emotions - When You Feel Hurt

Your Emotions – When You Feel Hurt!

When you feel hurt you are usually responding to what you see as an injustice. Usually you feel hurt when you feel something isn’t fair - someone has let you down or treated you in a way you feel is not right.

Often, when you feel hurt you will withdraw from the person who has hurt you and stop all communication with them. Others might see this as resentment or
aloofness and some see you as sulking.

Please don't Sulk!

Sulking can be silent sulking or it might be angry, noisy sulking with the slamming of doors and much huffing and puffing.

Sometimes you just snipe at someone close to you without saying why.  "Surely, if he loved me enough He would know why!"

Often behavior like this is about getting even or punishing – at the very least you want an apology.

But sulking rarely achieves the outcome that you want. It can make you more miserable than the person you believe has transgressed.

Overcome hurt

To overcome hurt, it is best to find out what really happened. You may not have been let down at all.

But, if you feel you have, it is worth keeping in mind that, at the end of the day, the world does not have to be fair. Really, there is no rule that says you must
be treated in a particular way.  If you keep this in mind, other people may disappoint you but you are much less likely to get hurt.

Instead of sulking it is best to tell the other person quietly, firmly and calmly what you didn’t like.  Then you can explain what change you would like them to make. 

Keep talking and listen carefully to what they have to say.  You may have to negotiate but happiness lies in the common ground.

Then, look after you.  Award yourself brownie points and treat yourself to some
time doing what you really enjoy.  A warm bath and a good book, can work wonders.

If you would like support handling those big emotions please get in touch.  My email address is below.



Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Enhanced by Zemanta

Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing); the alternative to that extra cup of coffee!

Nadi Shodhana (Alternate Nostril Breathing); the alternative to that extra cup of coffee!

Nadi Shodhana is a powerful breathing practice you can use to refresh or simply to settle your mind.

Nadi is a Sanskrit word meaning 'channel' or 'flow' and shodhana means 'purification.' The technique is said to bring calm and balance. It can certainly help you feel more awake. It takes a lot less toll on your body than caffeine!

Alternate nostril breathingis particularly helpful when you need to ease racing thoughts if you are experiencing anxiety or stress.

You can use it whenever you need to focus or energize. Please don't use it just before bed time!

There is a video below explaining the technique but here is a simple guide.


  1. Start by sitting in a comfortable upright position.
  2. Close your eyes and take a deep breath in and out through your nose.
  3. Hold your right thumb over your right nostril to close it and inhale deeply and slowly through your left nostril.
  4. At the peak of inhalation, close off your left nostril with your ring finger, then exhale deeply and slowly through the right nostril.
  5. This completes one cycle
  6. Continue the pattern repeating the whole cycle 5 to 10 times.

You will be surprised how refreshed you feel.

The practice can be a great preparation for meditation. But you could use it to help prepare for that challenging conversation at home or at work.

Here is a video demonstration by  Art of Living Productions







Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Monday, 27 June 2016

Endorphins - Chilli and Chocolate Can Make You Feel Good!

The body has it's own way of soothing us when we are in pain. Endorphins are "neurotransmitters" produced naturally in the body response to pain.

In the early 1970s, researchers were studying how the brain is affected by things like heroin or morphine. They found they reacted with receptor cells mainly in the the brain and spinal cord to block pain signals. The scientists wondered why such cells existed and it was then that they realised that the body produced its own opium like substances; the endorphins. 

Endorphins are produced as a response to various stimuli like stress and fear as well as pain. But they can give us a sense of restful bliss. They are often triggered when we have a good cry - that is why sometimes crying feels so comforting! The good news is that endorphins are also released by having a good laugh.

Here are some great ideas to help you release your own endorphins


  • Have a good giggle - spend time with people who make you laugh. Watch funny TV programs and films or visit your local comedy club.
  • Let your emotions go and have a good cry - it can be for joy as well as sadness
  • If you are fit, push your exercise regime a little - how about going dancing? (Don't exercise too aggressively just for the buzz - you will pay too dearly for the temporary high.)
  • Indulge in a little chocolate (it releases serotonin as well an endorphins) or eat some chilli - the body reacts to capsaicin by releasing endorphins) Here is a link to an intriguing  chilli and chocolate cupcake recipe;

Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Sunday, 26 June 2016

The Divine Mantra of Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara - Divine Compassion


Listen to the Divine Mantra of Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara. Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, known as Kuan Yin to the Japanese and Chinese, can be depicted as male or female. Kuan Yin, "Regarder of the Cries of the World", is sometimes thought of in the West as a Goddess of Mercy. Her compassion for all beings is vast and inconceivable. Her body and garments are of brilliant, translucent white light. She carries a white vase of compassionate water in her left hand and the sacred willow branch in her right hand.

Enlightened through infinite acts of compassion, in countless lifetimes, her feet rest upon a fragrant red lotus flower above a vast ocean. Her brows are curved and radiant like the crescent of an autumn moon. With the sweet dew drops she sprinkles from her vase she relieves the suffering of beings everywhere and always - for countless autumns.

Kuan Yin appears in different forms in religions around the world. What she embodies is the power of compassion that rests in the heart of each one of us.

If you have never listened before to Imee Ooi please try it now - it is special!