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Wednesday, 29 June 2016

Your Emotions - When You Feel Hurt

Your Emotions – When You Feel Hurt!

When you feel hurt you are usually responding to what you see as an injustice. Usually you feel hurt when you feel something isn’t fair - someone has let you down or treated you in a way you feel is not right.

Often, when you feel hurt you will withdraw from the person who has hurt you and stop all communication with them. Others might see this as resentment or
aloofness and some see you as sulking.

Please don't Sulk!

Sulking can be silent sulking or it might be angry, noisy sulking with the slamming of doors and much huffing and puffing.

Sometimes you just snipe at someone close to you without saying why.  "Surely, if he loved me enough He would know why!"

Often behavior like this is about getting even or punishing – at the very least you want an apology.

But sulking rarely achieves the outcome that you want. It can make you more miserable than the person you believe has transgressed.

Overcome hurt

To overcome hurt, it is best to find out what really happened. You may not have been let down at all.

But, if you feel you have, it is worth keeping in mind that, at the end of the day, the world does not have to be fair. Really, there is no rule that says you must
be treated in a particular way.  If you keep this in mind, other people may disappoint you but you are much less likely to get hurt.

Instead of sulking it is best to tell the other person quietly, firmly and calmly what you didn’t like.  Then you can explain what change you would like them to make. 

Keep talking and listen carefully to what they have to say.  You may have to negotiate but happiness lies in the common ground.

Then, look after you.  Award yourself brownie points and treat yourself to some
time doing what you really enjoy.  A warm bath and a good book, can work wonders.

If you would like support handling those big emotions please get in touch.  My email address is below.



Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

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