Your Happiness Factor:celebrating happiness, prosperity, hearth and home, good health.

Sunday, 11 November 2018

Sunday Reflection - On Being A Child of Light

Our ancestors must have feared the darkness of night terribly. Oh how they would have loved 
daylight and those nights when the moon shone bright. Most of all they must have loved the full moon. It is all too easy to see how they came to worship the sun and the moon. But then, of course, they discovered fire. At first it was probably a natural fire; perhaps, a bush fire following a long hot summer. Those fires would have inspired awe. And keeping alight a flame from a natural fire through the dark winter must have been a very special responsibility - the sacred flame.

In time, the secret of making fire was discovered. The Greek myth tells how Prometheus defied the gods by stealing fire and giving its secret to humanity. He was sentenced to eternal torment for an act that enabled human progress and civilization. Life in the cave without fire would have been pretty constrained, if not impossible. It was the coming of light in the form of flame  that led to man's greatest creativity and those cave paintings.

Of course, untamed fire could so easily consume life. The power of light and the energy of fire could be misused and weaponized. Many of the inventions and discoveries of science can be used for evil as well as good. And the weapons we claim will be used for defense become the means of offense again others. Those who wish to resist oppression become the oppressors.

For me, being a child of light means trying to see things as they are really. That isn't always easy or  pleasant. And I think it means to observe them with goodwill, love and compassion. It means, as well, trying to can banish the dark and sometimes shining a light perhaps where no light has been shone before.

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Tuesday, 6 November 2018

Night, night - my poem of Remembrance 2018

I have a new poem on my Dreaming in Purple and Grey poetry site. It is written in remembrance for the 100 years' anniversary of the First World War armistice.  You can find it at this link.

I wanted this poem to sound like a nursery rhyme despite the gruesomeness. For us growing up in the fifties, the First World War was not very far away. My Grandad was a wagonner when the war began. He was called up with his horses. My Mum could remember those horses being dressed in horse ribbons to be paraded through the village before they made their journey to France. Grandad drove a water wagon at the start of the war and a water truck by the end. I don't know what happened to the horses. I know he lost a brother and, I believe, a brother-in-law, on the Somme. All they told us kids about his experiences in the war was about the lack of clean clothing. And,how each night in the trenches, Grandad and the other soldiers would kill the lice in their vests by running a candle flame up the seams. Each night Grandad would send us to bed with the words, night, night, sleep tight, mind the bed bugs don’t bite. For me as a young child, the memory of killing lice and the poem got mixed up.

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Sunday, 4 November 2018

Sunday Reflection - Just Listening

 

When you think about it, it seems strange that so many people use sound to help them sleep. Surely most people prefer silence. But do they?

During long periods of silence in sensory deprivation experiments, people have imagined some pretty strange sounds. Being robbed of sensory input doesn’t suit the brain - it needs to fill the silence. The brain just craves sensory input. So, to sleep better, some people listen to white noise machines. Others love the sound of waves or a tropical forest.

What about meditating in complete silence? Well, the first challenge is to find somewhere completely quiet. That isn't easy in the modern world. And, the countryside is certainly not quiet. Of course, you have then to sit in silence and quiet the mind. That in itself requires the strongest mental muscles. So, gentle rhythmic sounds or chants can help us meditate more easily. 

There is a practice that I love - meditating on sound. To do this, sit quietly with your eyes closed and take some gentle conscious breaths. Next, focus on what you can hear. Listen to what is closest. Most buildings have some kind of sound going on all the time. If you are outside, what can you hear buzzing nearby. Then, gradually listen further out. What can you hear from the street outside the house? Listen in wider and wider circles. I love to hear a distant train. Let the sound be all there is. I find a few quiet minutes listening can be incredibly relaxing



Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Sunday, 28 October 2018

Sunday Reflection - Glass Half Full

There are two ways of looking at most things in life. When you face a new challenge, you can think;

"Oh no, I'm not going to be able to this. It is something I've never done before. It means I have to learn new skills. And I'm probably going to fail."

Or you can think;

"Yes, this is a challenge. But I will get the chance to learn more skills. And I'm going to give it my all and do my best to make it a success.

You will find lots of advice around about the power of positive thinking and expecting success. There is a lot of research that shows how having a positive approach to life improves health and happiness. Try looking at the Greater Good Science Centre  website for more information. 

But, with so many people jumping on a positive thinking bandwagon, it easy sometimes to lose sight of what it is really about. At its simplest and most powerful, it is about seeing half a glass of water as half full and not half empty.

How you view the glass varies between people and circumstances. Some people see pessimism as protecting them from disappointment. But it cuts them off from opportunity. Often they have learned pessimism from their parents and they think they can't change. Others may be mildly depressed or lacking in confidence. With help from a coach or counsellor they can change. With support, both groups can learn to challenge their thinking.

It is important though to be realistic about the power of positive thinking. Learning to think positively will help increase your resilience and mental health. But, there are some events in life that are beyond the power of positive thinking to heal. I'm thinking here mainly about bereavement. Trying to persuade someone to think about the glass being half full in those circumstances is usually just crass. Though having the strengthened mindset that comes from positive thinking, does help most of us cope better even with life's nastier moments.

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Wednesday, 24 October 2018

Happiness is When the Cat Purrs

Someone once told me a story. A woman had been living a miserable life. Her husband was a bully who tried to control her completely. Over the years her creative spirit slowly eroded away. She couldn't see how she would ever be happy. How could she find the confidence to leave and make another life? 

One of the few joys in her life, was her cat. 

The family lived in small flat in a large city. Husband insisted they kept the cat inside. The cat seems healthy enough but the woman noticed she never purred. Circumstances changed and they moved to a new flat. It was much larger, light and airy. There were two balconies. The woman loved the new place and so, apparently, did the cat. One day the woman heard a new sound - her silent cat had begun to purr. And the purring became a habit. With more freedom, light and fresh air, the cat was much happier.

It took the woman a little longer to find her happiness. But one day she met someone who inspired and supported her. That was enough to help her start a new life. And she too found freedom, light and fresh air. 

The woman thinks often of  that little black and white cat with a pink nose. That small cat taught her a very large lesson about happiness. And just in case you too find the sound of purring rather pleasant and relaxing, here's a little recording - thanks to YouTube



Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

Saturday, 20 October 2018

Saturday Reflection - Hard Times and Your Gentle Inner Voice

No one lives a life without unhappiness. We all suffer loss and other forms of change we would not have chosen. Often the change leads to better things. And, sometimes, even with the most positive of attitudes, a loss just hurts. We mourn and then get on with life in changed circumstances,as best we can. But, there is a skill you can learn when things are going well that will help when they are going badly. We can learn to listen to the wise and loving inner voice. For some, this is the voice of God. For others it is the higher self - part of you. Somewhere, beneath the chaos of our minds, it speaks.

If we can learn to still the chaos, we can learn to hear the voice. You can learn at any time. But, the easiest time is when things are going well. Your inner friend and counsellor will always be there. 

Time to pause and listen. Sit quietly in a gentle place if you can. Take a few quiet breaths. Feel yourself there in the present, just sitting quiet and still. Oh, there is a joy in stillness. Don't try to resist your thoughts but don't pay much attention to them. If they persist, let them play like an old radio at the back of your mind. And then, in the quiet, gentle and wise thoughts will come -  your inner voice. Let that kind, loving and very wise part of yourself speak to you.


Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Saturday, 13 October 2018

Saturday Reflection - Contemplating Not Ruminating

So here I am on Saturday morning, sitting quietly at my desk and contemplating. Contemplating, not ruminating! The difference between those two words, and the process they describe, is huge.

Contemplating means to consider something thoroughly. You take time to think fully or deeply. It helps to do it in your quiet place and to settle your mind before you start.

Ruminating means dwelling on something without reaching any real conclusions. You brood on it, turning it over and over in your mind, You agonize and worry and the thoughts run on and on. You just can't let go. But it doesn't actually get you any nearer to a solution. The thoughts run like a ticker tape through your head.

Ruminating is often a sign of stress.

Stress is a very common experience. Often, I work with clients who feel stressed. Learning how to bring themselves wholly into the present helps them a great deal. In this post I explain what I teach them.

Feeling stressed? Learn to be present!


Coaching can help when you feel stressed. If you are thinking about coaching, I would love to talk to you. You can book a free discussion using the app in the side column

In the meantime I wish you a very happy weekend

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Thursday, 11 October 2018

Advice for new leaders

There's a new post on my Career and Life Coaching Blog with advice for new leaders.

new leadersNew leaders - leadership is about creating positive change in a group or organization to achieve some long-term objective. It involves having a vision, setting goals and knowing how to move  the organization and its people towards them. The key skill for new leaders is learn how to best use your resources. And that includes  your people and using their talents to get you to where you need to be.

You can find the rest of the post at this link

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link

Monday, 5 March 2018

Happy Music

Here is some happy music just to brighten your day


Buy the music here : iTunes : https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/tro... Bandcamp : https://dbfiechter.bandcamp.com/album... Amazon mp3 : http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00W... Listen to this music on Spotify: Spotify : https://open.spotify.com/album/4pukyr... *** Tracklist : 0:00– Coral Reef 3:07– Tidal Pool 6:08 – Paradise Lagoon 9:29 – Tropical Tides Golf 12:11 – Caribbean Dream 16:11 – Palm Tree Beach 19:49 – Tropical Island 22:51 – Caribbean Sea 26:27 – Exotic Isles 29:24 – Island of Jamaica 32:14 – Trinidad and Tobago 35:31 – Fun in the Sun 38:45 – Summer Vacation 42:11 – Coast of Mexico 45:44 – Jellyfish Bay 49:13 – Ocean Pool 52:17 – Blue Surf 55:32 – Coconut Lounge 58:49 – Hawaiian Breezes 1:02:07 – Sunset in Hawaii 1:06:03 – Ukulele Dance

Sunday, 4 March 2018

A quiet walk

A quiet walk through the Quinalt Rainforest in Olympic National Park on the Washington coast. This is filmed just before the heavy foliage blossoms in March. The rainforest is one of the most meditative places I visit. The green moss is heavy with moisture from the winter.






From CreationScapes https://esfilms.net/ch-UCrXxrLl2seADVnu_peGZtjg

Posted by Wendy Smith. Wendy is a Career and Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on life and your career.  You can book a FREE coaching session or find out more at this link


Friday, 26 January 2018

Finding tranquillity


Finding tranquillity 


To be tranquil is to be, calm, serene, and, in the moment, worry-free. The word tranquillity appears in lots of religious texts and particularly in Buddhism. In Buddhism the term passaddhi means the tranquillity of the body, thoughts and consciousness that is found on the path to enlightenment. Being tranquil allows you to a take rest from the periods of hard focused attention’so often required in modern life.

Research has shown that one of the best ways to find tranquility is to spend time in a natural environment. There you can allow your imagination to wander and just soak up your surroundings and a different way of being. For me, spending a little time among trees or by the sea helps me realise that life can be lived with a much longer perspective - the troubles of one day mean very little.

The first maps of tranquility were developed by Simon Rendel of ASH Consulting for a Department of Transport study in 1991. In these maps tranquil areas were defined as places sufficiently far from the visual or noise intrusion of development or traffic to be considered unspoilt by urban influences. More sophisticated mapping techniques are now available following work by researchers at Northumbria University, Newcastle University, and CPRE.

The research has shown the following factors are likely to make an area feel tranquil.

  • A natural landscape, including woodland 
  • The presence of rivers, streams, lakes or the sea 
  • Birds and other wildlife 
  • Wide open spaces 
  • The clear open night sky with or without the moon 
  • A beach in a unique location
  • Open fields, flowers etc. speically when accompanied by a gentle breeze. 
So now you know and it is time go out and find your own tranquil place.

I have a Facebook Page dedicated to finding tranquility and the quality of serenity - you will find it at this link - Unofficial Serenity

Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

Tuesday, 23 January 2018

Feeling stressed? Learn to be present!


Smith is a Career Coach and Life Coach  helping you to solve difficult problems at work

Many of the great religions talk about the value of being able to sit quietly in the present. Sometimes this is a prelude to prayer – sometimes sitting in the present is the prayer or at perhaps a step on the way to enlightenment.  But only recently have we understood the psychological value of being wholly in the present, with or without the religion.

I work with clients who feel stressed. And being able to bring themselves wholly into the present can be a great help to them. Here is what I teach them to do.

My practice of presence!


Find yourself a quiet spot.  This can be a pleasant spot within your home, or somewhere quiet at work.  It is great if you can do the exercise out of doors in your garden or even on a park bench.  But you need somewhere where you can sit for a few minutes and not be disturbed.

 First, focus on your breathing. The way to do it is to breathe in and out slowly and in a regular rhythm.
  • ·         Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth slowly.
  • ·         Fill up the whole of your lungs with air, without forcing.
  • ·         Imagine you're filling up a bottle, so that your lungs fill from the bottom.
  • ·         Breathe in slowly and regularly counting from one to five (don’t worry if you can’t reach five at first).
  • ·         Then let the breath escape slowly, counting from one to five.
  • ·         Keep doing this until you feel calm.
  • ·         Breathe without pausing or holding your breath.

While you are doing this concentrate completely on your breathing – let the thought of your breath fill you heart and mind completely!

Then while breathing gently bring your focus out to the world about you concentrating fully on one sense at a time
  • ·         What can you hear? Really concentrate on those sounds.
  • ·         What can you feel? Feel the air as it touches your skin.
  • ·         What can you smell? If you fully concentrate you may be surprised.
  • ·         What can you taste? Has that smell brought a taste to your mouth perhaps.
  • ·         Now, what can you see? Concentrate fully on just one item in your surroundings. Really see it.

Next take your mind to your feet and feel them fully rooted to the  floor or ground beneath. Then, sense the earth itself beneath you. Sense yourself rooted and part of that earth!  If you wish you can rest there for a while, sensing the earth that supports you.

When you are ready, go back to your everyday day life, taking that sense of presence and support with you. 

With practice you will feel so full of the real presence around, you can be totally and completely yourself.
If you are thinking about coaching, and we coaches really help you work through life's challenges, I would love to talk to you.
Warm regards


Wendy

Wendy Smith is a  Life Coach helping you find fresh perspectives on your life including your career. She helps people lead happier lives and feel more fulfilled. Need help finding work, with problems at work, at home or with relationships? Book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

You can find Wendy's books on Amazon at this link