Your Happiness Factor

Wendy Smith is a personal coach and  author of  How to Get on With the Boss  . You can get in touch with her at this  link Are you going through some  kind of change or just going through a difficult period? You will probably find it drains your energy!  You have to deal with confusion, your own, and you may have to deal with other people’s, anxieties.  You may find yourself giving out lots of your energy in support of others.  But some people seem to take just a little too much – more than you can afford to give if you are going to stay fit and cope with all that might be ahead of you. We all feel particularly insecure in the middle of life changes.  But energy drainers are usually people who are insecure and negative in their everyday life!   Quite often they find it difficult to tolerate their own company. You may find people like this start to depend upon you to help them make all kinds of relatively simple life decisions.  They may phone or text you several times a day on

Feeling anger or having some become angry with us makes us feel unhappy! Anger usually arises because you believe someone has acted against you!   It needn’t be real – you just need to believe it happened! It comes about in three main ways; Some one or some thing gets in the way and stops you achieving a goal Someone or some organisation breaks your personal rules.  For example, ‘I’ve worked for them for years and now they want to get rid of me!’ Your self esteemed feels threatened You feel angry and you may lash out verbally or physically.   Or you may displace your aggression and take it out on someone else.  Instead of attacking you may withdraw – you storm out of the room! Or you may attack indirectly – for example, subverting or spreading rumours – a passive aggressive response. But prolonged anger damages you mentally and physically! You may believe that letting it out is the best way to deal with it.  But these outbursts -  ‘cathartic’ expressions of anger - reinforce your a