crying emoticone (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
How to stop crying in front of
people!
Crying is a great way to release emotions when you are upset. There are many people who feel better after a
“good cry”. And it is quite natural to
cry when we have suffered a great loss, for example, on the death of someone
close to us.
If you can’t stop
crying or have repeated bouts of crying for no obvious reason, it is best to
seek help from a doctor or a counselor because that may be a sign of
depression.
Even though crying is good for us,
there is a time and place for it. In
general, it is best done alone or with very close friends or family. It is
usually not a good idea to cry at work.
Unfortunately, a lot of the old prejudices
still hold sway and many managers find it really difficult to deal with people
who burst into tears. This is sad and it
says something about the limitations of many managers! But it is still a fact of life.
So what to do when tears threaten at
work? Well if you can take some time out
– smile (not easy) and excuse yourself.
Then head for a room with lock on it or somewhere private and not
overlooked in the open air– if all else
fails head for the washroom. But treat
the washroom with care. Being found
crying in the washroom isn’t the greatest thing for your reputation and
it can feed the rumor mill.
Once in your private space, take
some long, slow, deep breaths. Now focus
hard on
(i) if the thing making you cry is work related –something positive
that happened recently at home or
(ii) if it is home-related – on something positive at work.
Make your memory really detailed and
full of colour. Now make yourself smile
and imagine yourself in armor ready to go back there and start again.
If you cannot get out of the room to
find a quiet space, still take those long, slow, deep breaths. Take a sip of
water if it is available and some people recite a favorite poem to themselves or remember a favorite joke. All of this works to distract you. If all else fails try my favorite trick and claim
an allergy. It can account for the wet eyes.
But remember tears
are a natural response to some emotions.
And with those who know you well, you should be able to tell them the
reason for your tears and they should feel privileged that you are able to cry in
front of them. I hope they realize that
for most of us the best medicine for crying is a good old fashioned hug!
Want to be a Confident Networker? Join my free teleseminar on 26thJune 2012
Wendy Mason is a Life and Career Coach. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work and to change career while maintaining a good work/life balance. You can email her at wendymason @wisewolfcoaching.com
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