Skip to main content

Getting to know people and making assumptions!

Getting to know people and making assumptions

Most of us encounter lots of other people all the time in our everyday life.  We pass them in the street. We sit in the same cinema, or  work in the same building. And some among them, we actually start to acknowledge and get to know. We begin to recognise their faces, the shapes of their bodies and how they move. We start to make assumptions about them, usually based on our very first encounter with them.

In fact most of us make up our minds in the first few seconds of the encounter. Based on the clothes they are wearing on that particular day and the expression of their face, we decide. Is this someone I am likely to trust and want to know better? And we act on what we think are the answers to those questions, based on our assumptions.
What we are doing, of course, is taking a few stray facts and fitting them into our own patterns of belief. We base those beliefs;

  • on what we were told by our parents and others when we are young, 
  • on what we have read or been taught formally 
  • on what we have experienced (increasingly on tv, in the media or on-line).
Interesting this isn't it? This is what we do. So, what do you think other people do when they encounter us?

Well of course, they to make assumptions too. They set us up against their personal frame of reference!

Now, you and I both know that the frame of reference we use can be quite risky.

Most of us have picked all kind of prejudices and bits of wrong information along the way. For example, women of my mother's generation had the most awful suspicions of other women in red hats. I won't go into the detail but it wasn't very nice.

Most of the time we apply our frame of reference without conscious thought or question.

You can change. You can learn to hold back on making those kind of immediate judgements, if you wish. And I believe that is a very wise thing to do. Otherwise what interesting opportunities you may miss in life. What good people you may exclude.
It is wise as well, though, to keep in mind that people are making those kind of assumptions about us.. And we need to do our best to make sure that that first, abiding, impression is one we actually choose to make.

Wendy Smith is a Life Coach with Career and Business Coaching
career coach, life coach
skills. She helps people have the confidence they need to be successful at work while maintaining a good work/life balance. 

You can email her at wendy@wisewolfcoaching.com

or book your free taster coaching session with Wendy here

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Lakota Peyote Healing Song by Robbie Robertson

A Lakota Peyote Healing Song by Robbie Robertson YouTube is full of music that claims to be Native American from North America and usually it isn't. It may be quite beautiful music but it is not what it claims to be. And in my view it does not have the same power.  This is authentic, beautiful and powerful Singer, song writer and guitarist Robbie Robertson was born Jaime Robert Klegerman in 1943, in Toronto, Ontario. He was born to a Jewish father and a Mohawk mother and took his stepfather's last name after his mother remarried. He had his earliest exposure to music at Six Nations of the Grand River First Nation , Ontario where he spent summers with his mother's family. He is best known for his membership in The Band. Here is a translation of the words

Friday Recipe - Catalan Fish Stew - Rick Stein

Friday Recipe -  Catalan Fish Stew - Rick Stein This is an everyday Catalan fish soup that is more like a stew and has several variants. Like so many Catalan dishes, it starts with a sofregit of fried garlic and tomato. A hearty Catalan fish soup; a meal in bowl. Catalan fish stew Ingredients 6 tbsp olive oil 1 large Spanish onion, chopped 2 fennel bulbs, chopped 150g/5oz chorizo, diced 1 red chilli, finely chopped 1 tsp fennel seeds, ground 2 cloves new season garlic, crushed ½tsp sweet paprika powder 1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves 1 tsp saffron strands (optional) 3 fresh bay leaves 1 tin plum tomatoes 100ml/3½ fl oz fish stock or water 150ml/5 fl oz white wine 500g/1 lb 2oz mussels, cleaned 650g/1 lb 7 oz firm white fish (bream, pollock, cod, monkfish), filleted, dredged in flour and fried in olive oil 100g/3½ oz toasted almonds, ground To serve 1 lemon, cut into wedges steamed potatoes and spring greens Preparation method

Something Sacred To Start Your Day - Navajo Early Morning Blessing

Something Sacred To Start Your Day - Navajo Early Morning Blessing "Hooghan" from the album Sacred Mountains by Louie Gonnie courtesy of  Canyon Records  Graphics by Rezboyz Designz Spoken Intro Translation The mountains were put there - in holy way, they told us that that will be our spiritual home.  In the middle of the home will be a fire burning, there will be a door, there will be a fire poker (Sacred to Dine'),  You're thoughts will be good,  You will have plans to make,  Life will be blessed,  There the hope will stay. Singing Translation   The home is there, prayer in the home, pray in the home, in the beauty way with the scared pollen pathway, the home is there, the home is there!