Skip to main content

Building a relationship is a learning process

Building a relationship is a learning process. 

I've been thinking about relationships and how they are all about learning. Building a relationship is a learning
process. 

You learn about yourself in the relationship and you learn about the other person. And most of that learning is done by listening. That means listening to the other person but also listening to yourself and your own heart, and your head reflecting your own values. And you must try to be very honest. 

In any good relationship it is about being true to yourself, as well as being true to someone else. And it is not making promises you know in your heart, you may not keep, Promising things that in the moment feel ok.

Even if you think you know yourself very well, you will change as you learn this other person, if the relationship lasts. You'll  be influenced by who they are, what they believe and how they behave.

Learning who they are can be quite a challenge. What you learn, if you listen honestly, can make you question yourself and your own values. 

Learning who they are with an open mind can be  quite difficult. This is because you will bring to it all your hopes and expectations of the other person and the relationship. And this is further complicated if there's a strong attraction between you.

It is all too is easy to give into the attraction.  You, yourself, and the other person may believe the relationship is much deeper than it is really.  You make promises that later you cannot meet.

Physical attraction is great. Let's face it, for many, it is what makes the world go round. But don't mistake a relationship built mainly on attraction, an infatuation, for anything else. Listen to the person, try to learn them. And then test what you learn against what both your heart and your head, knowing your own values, tell you. And have the courage to act on what you hear.

Wendy Mason  Smith is a  Personal Coach and Writer helping people feel happier. If you would like help with your career or your life away from work, you can book a FREE coaching session with Wendy or find out more at this link

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Friday Recipe - Catalan Fish Stew - Rick Stein

Friday Recipe -  Catalan Fish Stew - Rick Stein This is an everyday Catalan fish soup that is more like a stew and has several variants. Like so many Catalan dishes, it starts with a sofregit of fried garlic and tomato. A hearty Catalan fish soup; a meal in bowl. Catalan fish stew Ingredients 6 tbsp olive oil 1 large Spanish onion, chopped 2 fennel bulbs, chopped 150g/5oz chorizo, diced 1 red chilli, finely chopped 1 tsp fennel seeds, ground 2 cloves new season garlic, crushed ½tsp sweet paprika powder 1 tbsp fresh thyme leaves 1 tsp saffron strands (optional) 3 fresh bay leaves 1 tin plum tomatoes 100ml/3½ fl oz fish stock or water 150ml/5 fl oz white wine 500g/1 lb 2oz mussels, cleaned 650g/1 lb 7 oz firm white fish (bream, pollock, cod, monkfish), filleted, dredged in flour and fried in olive oil 100g/3½ oz toasted almonds, ground To serve 1 lemon, cut into wedges steamed potatoes and spring greens Preparation method

A Lakota Peyote Healing Song by Robbie Robertson

A Lakota Peyote Healing Song by Robbie Robertson YouTube is full of music that claims to be Native American from North America and usually it isn't. It may be quite beautiful music but it is not what it claims to be. And in my view it does not have the same power.  This is authentic, beautiful and powerful Singer, song writer and guitarist Robbie Robertson was born Jaime Robert Klegerman in 1943, in Toronto, Ontario. He was born to a Jewish father and a Mohawk mother and took his stepfather's last name after his mother remarried. He had his earliest exposure to music at Six Nations of the Grand River First Nation , Ontario where he spent summers with his mother's family. He is best known for his membership in The Band. Here is a translation of the words

Something Sacred To Start Your Day - Navajo Early Morning Blessing

Something Sacred To Start Your Day - Navajo Early Morning Blessing ly Morning Blessing "Hooghan" from the album Sacred Mountains by Louie Gonnie courtesy Canyon Records (www.canyonrecords.com). Graphics by Rezboyz Designz Translation "The mountains were put there - in holy way, they told us that that will be our spiritual home.  In the middle of the home will be a fire burning, there will be a door, there will be a fire poker (Sacred to Dine'),  You're thoughts will be good,  You will have plans to make,  Life will be blessed,  There the hope will stay." Singing Translation   The home is there, prayer in the home, pray in the home, in the beauty way with the scared pollen pathway, the home is there, the home is there!