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Feeling Lonely

Jean Jacques Henner, SolitudeImage via Wikipedia
Enforced loneliness has been a punishment throughout history.

We are social animals and most of us need the company of others for a lot of our time.  I remember my mother, the eldest of ten children, feeling horrified at the prospect of one night alone when my father needed to visit a relative and they couldn’t spare the time to go together.

Robert S. Weiss  has categorized loneliness into two ways: emotional loneliness and social loneliness.

Emotional loneliness feels like the pain we feel when a romantic partner is missing.

Social loneliness is when you feel like you are not part of a community and you feel you do not have friends to rely on.

The other important distinction is between transient or chronic loneliness, also known rather cruelly as state and trait loneliness.
Transient loneliness passes and is often caused by something external to us – it is  easily remedied usually
Chronic loneliness comes from inside us and is hard to resolve.

A person who feels lonely even in a crowd, at a family gathering, with friends, or alone is experiencing chronic loneliness. It does not matter what goes on around them, the experience of loneliness is always there.

Chronic loneliness can be a serious, life-threatening condition. At least one study has associated it with a possible increased risk of cancer.
Loneliness has been linked with depression, and can thus be a risk factor for suicide. 

Loneliness can also play a part in alcoholism and substance abuse.
In children, a lack of social connections is directly linked to several forms of antisocial and self-destructive behaviour.
There are a number of different ways to treat loneliness. But the first step that most doctors recommend is to see a counsellor.   
With the counsellor, you can then work to understand the cause of the problem and start to reverse the negative thoughts, feelings, and attitudes that are making you unhappy. 

That first vital step is to talk to a doctor or a therapist about how you feel. 
Please don’t feel embarrassed you’d be surprised how many of us have felt just like you in the past. 

I am Wendy Mason. I work as a Personal Development Coach, Consultant and Writer.I have worked with many different kinds of people going through all kinds personal and career change, particularly those
  • looking for promotion or newly promoted,
  • moving between Public and Private Sectors
  • moving into retirement.
I am very good at helping you sort out what you want, overcome obstacles and handle change and I would like to work with you! I offer face to face, telephone and on-line coaching by email or Skype Email me at or ring ++44(0)2084610114 or ++44(0)7867681439 to find out more or go to


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