Your Happiness Factor

What to do when guilt is spoiling your life! Recently I wrote about shame and how to deal with it ( Is shame spoiling your life? ). Guilt and shame both come from a sense of having done something considered bad, stupid or wrong. Shame comes from a fear of being disapproved of by others. Guilt comes from disapproving of ourselves – we have broken our own code of values. When we feel guilty, we may try to put things right by confessing and saying sorry. Or we may punish ourselves – for example, in an extreme form, taking an overdose. We may allow others to punish us – putting up with bad treatment, sometimes for years. Or we may anaesthetise ourselves – for example, with drink or or drugs and sometimes over-work. Sometimes guilt is about things we've done and sometimes it is about things we should have done but didn't – for example not making the time to support a friend in trouble. Guilt has a bad reputation in the 21 st Century but it isn

 Tuesday Quotes - Relationships The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships. Anthony Robbins Someone to tell it to is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. Miles Franklin Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so. Anon The most effective way to achieve right relations with any living thing is to look for the best in it, and then help that best into the fullest expression. Allen J. Boone We are never more discontented with others than when we are discontented with ourselves. Henri Frederic Amiel Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you. Mike Murdock A person isn't who they are during the last conversation you had with them - they're who they've been throughout your whole relationship. Rainer Maria Rilke However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is th

Managing emotions - Identifying feelings (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Time Management - Pinpointing Those Emotional Blocks to Change My last two posts about Time Management ( The Clock Is Ticking! How Good Are You At Time Management) and ( Time Management: Know Where Time Goes - Keep A Log ) said that the first two steps in managing time are to be clear about your purpose and your direction in life and then to know how you spend your time. Knowing those things and completing the first two steps are important. But often time management improvement plans still fail. This is usually because there are underlying emotional issues. Sometimes people feel guilty about spending time on their own interests. For example, what about the rest of the family – shouldn't this time be spent with the children? Or perhaps you might be anxious about saying no to a colleague and refusing to help them at the expense of time to do your own work. This might be because you lack the

  (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) The Mint moth (Pyrausta aurata) on Lemon balm (Melissa officinalis) (Photo credit: Wikipedia )    Lemon Balm – A cup of tea with my lovely Melissa I've started drinking lemon balm tea in afternoons.  Now I've grown lemon balm in my garden for years and always enjoyed the smell. On a summer's day, it is something quite special. But only this year have I taken a couple of fresh sprigs, steeped them in hot water and drunk the results.  Oh, it is lovely. Apparently, the word Balm is an abbreviation of Balsam, the chief of sweet-smelling oils. It is so called from its honeyed sweetness It was highly esteemed by Paracelsus a sixteenth century alchemist of genius. He believed in its ability to revive. Paracelsus, as Manly Hall has said, gained his knowledge "not from long-coated pedagogues but from dervishes in Constantinople, witches, gypsies, and sorcerers, who invoked spirits and captured the rays of the celes

“My clients are genuinely surprised when we start working together – they think that I am going to tell them what to do, but it’s not like that. They also come in feeling nervous and apprehensive but once we have met a few times, they even start to enjoy it. At the end of the day, it’s a brave move to come to Relate, but for almost everyone, it’s one of the best moves they have made.” This video explains how relationship counselling works If you are facing divorce or separation, dealing with an affair or a major conflict in a relationship, then relationship counselling really can help. Relationship counselling helps you to make the most of your relationships, past, present or future. Working with relationship counsellor can help you, even if you are not currently in a relationship and worried about it.  Many people believe that relationship counselling is only there to help with the major crises in people’s relationships.  But they are also there for th

The Android Emulator home screen. (Photo credit: Wikipedia )  Monday Quotes - Time Management Time = life; therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life. Alan Lakein The key is in not spending time, but in investing it. Stephen R. Covey This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. Ralph Waldo Emerson If you want to make good use of your time, you’ve got to know what’s most important and then give it all you’ve got. Lee Iacocca You’re writing the story of your life one moment at a time. Doc Childre and Howard Martin One cannot manage too many affairs: like pumpkins in the water, one pops up while you try to hold down the other. Chinese Proverb Never let yesterday use up today. Richard H. Nelson Realize that now, in this moment of time, you are creating. You are creating your next moment. That is what’s real. Sara Paddison Until you value yourself, you will not va

34 diet & fitness tips you need to know iVillage have picked 34 of the best tips from the world's top diet and fitness gurus, to help you get started on your plan, stay motivated and reach your goals: 1. Diet for the season 'Get up earlier in summer and later in winter, in line with natural sunlight hours. Don't eat late at night or before you're fully awake.' Nutritionist Patrick Holford, author of The New Optimum Nutrition Bible (£9.74 Piatkus) 2. Stay hydrated at the gym 'Your gym may have drinking fountains but they won't help you keep an eye on how much you drink. Make sure you take a large bottle with you to the gym and keep it to hand whenever you are in class or on a machine.' Steve Shipside, author of Win at the Gym (£9.74 Infinite Ideas) 3. Shake things up 'Though there's not much scientific proof that it works, some dieters find that changing some of their meal plan selections from week to

Personal Development - Something to Feed Your Spirit and Your Mind Kelly Howell - The Secret Universal Mind Meditation  - A Guided Meditation Be somewhere in a safe place where you can relax, when you follow this!  This meditation includes subliminal messages - these must never be played when driving or using machinery Related articles Are you stressed-out by your poor work-life balance? Be Successful - Making A Personal Change - Part 1 Admit A Change is Needed Learning to Lead - Giving that Presentation

Photo credit: Dimmerswitch Having a Bad Day -Tips For Dealing With Days When You Just Feel Down Some days you just wake up in a bad mood. I'm not talking here about depression or long-term problems. Just one of those days when you wake up feeling down. It might be the weather. It could be something that happened yesterday that made you feel bad. It isn't a serious issue but just for today you feel down.  What can you do? Here are my tips for dealing with the odd dark day. First try to workout why. Be very honest with yourself. If there is something you need to put right, then commit to doing it and make the first step. It will help you to feel better. Occupy yourself with simple work – cleaning or sorting out the admin in the office is great for this. Find something that will occupy your mind, give you a sense of achievement but not take great intellect. Do not take short cuts through alcohol, drugs or overeating – they provide a t

Time Management: Know Where Time Goes - Keep A Log My last post about Time Management ( The Clock Is Ticking! How Good Are You At Time Management?) said that the first step in managing time is to be clear about your purpose and your direction in life.  Now you need to find out how you actually spend your time. The best way to do this is to start using a time log. Record each activity throughout your day with the time taken to complete it. Do this at the time, if you can.The closer to the time, the more accurate you log is going to be,  But at the very least, ensure you record each hour's activity at the end of each day. For example Date    Time           Activity             07.00             08.00             09.00  Etc The period covered should be the whole of your waking day. Everything should be included if you are serious about wanting to a achieve a better balanced and more manageable life.   Keeping a log for just a couple of da