Your Happiness Factor

A Japanese painting from 1750 shows a young man catching his lover reading a love letter from a rival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) What to do about jealousy! Jealousy happens between two people when one sees an actual or imagined threat to the relationship posed by someone else. Morbid jealousy – the worst kind - occurs when one partner becomes obsessed with thoughts about the other partner's unfaithfulness but their suspicions are not founded in real fact. Basically, one partner is terrified of losing the other.  Even a conversation the partner has with someone else can be seen as a threat.  One partner becomes desperate that they no longer have exclusive rights to their partner – they feel that their “property” rights are being infringed. Jealousy may be combined with other emotions, for example, anxiety about loss of a loved one and fear of shame or loss of dignity. Jealousy is often accompanied by anger. Often distrust of a partner comes from dist

This park and memorial were erected in Elliot Lake, ON in memory of local women who died as a result of domestic violence, and to remind of the struggle with violence that women face everyday. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) At this link you will find a quiz.  This quiz was given during a lecture on risk markers for domestic violence and emotional abuse.  Now, no quiz can give you a precise answer on the quality of your relationship and its risks.   Don't take the final scores as gospel.  But some of the questions are really thought provoking.  For example; Does this person accept responsibility for his or her own actions rather than blaming failures on others? Does your partner respect your right to make decisions affecting your own life? Is your partner glad that you have other friends (even friends whom you do not share in common)? There are lots of things to think about here in the context of your own current relationship and whether there are risks attache

  Find happiness in growing things - the joys of an indoor herb gardener! Spending a little time gardening is a great way to balance out a busy working week. Watching something grow that you have nurtured is a great joy and if you can harvest the produce so much the better. But not all of us have out-door space and some really do have very little time. So how can you enjoy the pleasure of growing something green? Well, many herbs grow quite happily indoors with the right conditions. They don't take much looking after, most look good and, yes, you do get to harvest them for cooking.  You will find all kinds of herbs in your local garden centres and you can find them on-line. I would recommend buying plant pugs (young plants) rather than growing from seed. Growing herbs from seed can be frustrating. The biggest challenge when growing indoors is providing the right light. Many herbs will live very happily on a sunny windowsill but you do need to check the

The Dalai Lama Talks About The Need For Compassion And Respect  The Dalai Lama speaks at Stanford about the need for dialogue in resolving conflict, and the need for compassion that extends beyond creeds and beliefs. 'Dalai Lama advocates a secular approach to compassion' http://news.stanford.edu/news/2010/october/dalai-lama-speaks-101410.html Stanford University: http://www.stanford.edu/ Stanford News: http://news.stanford.edu/ Stanford University Channel on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/stanford Category: Related articles The Leader's Way: Business, Buddhism and Happiness in an Interconnected World - Leadership Lessons from the Dalai Lama Are you stressed-out by your poor work-life balance? Having a Bad Day - Tips For Dealing With Days When You Just Feel Down

What to do when guilt is spoiling your life! Recently I wrote about shame and how to deal with it ( Is shame spoiling your life? ). Guilt and shame both come from a sense of having done something considered bad, stupid or wrong. Shame comes from a fear of being disapproved of by others. Guilt comes from disapproving of ourselves – we have broken our own code of values. When we feel guilty, we may try to put things right by confessing and saying sorry. Or we may punish ourselves – for example, in an extreme form, taking an overdose. We may allow others to punish us – putting up with bad treatment, sometimes for years. Or we may anaesthetise ourselves – for example, with drink or or drugs and sometimes over-work. Sometimes guilt is about things we've done and sometimes it is about things we should have done but didn't – for example not making the time to support a friend in trouble. Guilt has a bad reputation in the 21 st Century but it isn